Day: November 5, 2012

Immediately Post-Break Up, Explained

By Jake Wrenn

Posted on

If I were crazy—as in, my action potentials askew, my cranial nerves unnerved, a great
psychic disconnect between thought and reality—I wouldn’t linger at the train stop.
I wouldn’t stare at the sky and flex tinfoil over my head, or laugh fist-clenched at
a joke no one told. I wouldn’t argue the geographic advantages that the allied Germany
and Russia have in the fight against the moon, tell you about my drinking problem, or
wear my pants backward. If I were crazy—as in, the severe and repeated misfiring of
neurotransmitters in my head—I wouldn’t advertise it. I wouldn’t be involved in or be the
target of any national government conspiracy; there would be no men in black suits
watching from the bushes; I wouldn’t contort my face for my strange relationship to
germs or understand the long-winded allegories within words. I wouldn’t own dozens of
cats, or engage you in conversation about the time I spent fighting a non-existent war,
using sticks as automatic weapons or the one damn dirty bomb which blew off the
bottom part of my leg, recounting the severe casualties of fake and safe conflict.
I wouldn’t have dried blood on my jacket. I wouldn’t suck pennies for the coppery
taste or tell you about the sensors on currency which track every movement of the
American people.…

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