Noah tapped the pocket of his swim trunks once, twice, three times, making sure he had his keys, phone and wallet. He checked the front seat, the back, and the cargo space beyond, making certain he had everything.

The twins, Natalie and Leo, stood by quietly, knowing from experience that interruptions generally resulted in additional delays.

“Right, let’s go then!” their dad said at last. Noah adjusted his backpack, slung a folding tent and a beach chair over his shoulders and tucked a boogie board under each arm. He took each child by the hand for the journey across the parking lot.

“We passed this before,” Leo noted.

Noah had circled the open lots several times before deciding where to park but he didn’t think the kids had noticed. “Well, Nate,” Noah said with a wink, “I just wanted to make sure we picked a good beach.”

“I’m Leo,” Leo corrected him. The nickname was an inside joke. The twins were meant to be named for their grandfathers, Nate and Leo. Following a difficult delivery, the hospital team turned to Noah for the names. Noah had forgotten which child was to be named for which grandfather. Unable to decide, he named them both for Grandpa Nate, leaving Olivia to amend after the anesthesia wore off.  

“Momma always says she wishes you could make a decision half as fast as you make a mess,” Natelie said, sounding more like her mother than a nine-year-old.

“She says that does she?” Noah asked, hoping he didn’t sound angry. “What else does she say?”

“That you lost your job,” Leo accidentally added out load.

“Because you can’t commit,” Natalie contributed, trying to help. “But Nanna said that part.”

Noah’s mother hadn’t mentioned seeing the twins. “You saw my mum?”

“She comes on Tuesdays, when Momma has class,” Leo answered.

Night school was also news to Noah, but he let it go. “Well, actually,” he told the children. “I got a new job. If I take it.”

The twin’s faces showed cautious admiration. “I’m like a chauffeur. I drive people. When they need a… lift.”

“For a millionaire?” Leo wanted to know.

“Not quite, Le. No.” His son seemed disappointed. “But, rich enough, I guess.”

“In a limousine?” Natalie asked hopefully.

“No,” he laughed. “In my car.”

The comments from his wife and mother were upsetting. He could commit; he could make decisions. Sure, he wasn’t certain about committing to marriage but, who is? Besides, the kids were still young. Ish. And, he had chosen everything about this outing. Maybe today would help demonstrate his capabilities.

They finally reached the end of the parking lot. “We made it. Good job,” Noah told them with a level of excitement that he hoped didn’t sound forced.

“Let’s find a spot, lotion up and go have some fun.” When they came to an open area Noah unburdened himself and spread out a blanket. He retrieved Natalie’s suntan lotion from her backpack but couldn’t find Leo’s.

“Didn’t Mamma pack lotion for you, Leo?”

“It’s in the car,” Leo said, his response barely audibly.

“I checked. I didn’t see it.”

Leo put his head down. “I took it out to play with it. It’s in the seat pocket,” he admitted. “It’s Spiderman.”

Noah considered marching them back to the car as a teachable memory. But it was hot. They were tired. He was tired. Life lessons could wait. “Well, yeah, Spiderman.”

“I’m sure Nat will share,” he said but Leo was unimpressed.

“Natalie’s is pink. And has a doll body.”

“You’ll use your sister’s,” Noah said a little too sharply. He had turned his attention to the pop-up tent which was refusing to perform as advertised. His mind’s eye flashed an image of Olivia frowning at him for the comment.

They finished silence. When they were done, Noah suggested they visit the commissary for more lotion. “Without a doll head, right Le?”

Noah let Leo pick out whichever bottle he wanted and told Natalie she could select something for herself. He felt grand making the purchases. It didn’t even bother him that he had almost certainly overpaid. In fact, maybe that made him feel even grander.

They trapsed back to their blanket, encountering small numbers of beachgoers who were already leaving. When everyone’s lotion was applied Noah faced his prodigy. “Now, children, can we finally get into the water?” He turned quickly and ran toward the shore, the children weighed down by boogie boards and plastic buckets and shovels, raced happily behind.

Noah delighted in the delight of his children. He had never been indecisive about them. He hoped that on days like this, they felt that as strongly as he did. They played for some time before he steered them back to their spot for a break. The children nested in the tent as Noah produced a passable meal from the contents of his backpack. A cool breeze came off the water and soon, their bellies full and their limbs exhausted, the twins drifted off to sleep while Noah analyzed fantasy league draft picks on his phone.

In the time, what had been a steady stream of people leaving became a trickle and then subsided all together. During this period Noah took the opportunity to withdraw his vape pen for a couple of easy hits. He pulled his hat down over his eyes, dug his feet into the sand. He closed the betting app on his phone and chose a play list on Spotify.

He had forgotten how relaxing it was to fall asleep at the beach. Knowing his children were safe, he surrendered and closed his eyes. He knew the phone battery was running low and he considered shutting it down, but he fell asleep before making up his mind.

Some while later he woke but woke slowly. The sun’s warmth seemed in retreat and the coolness may have stirred him. Or perhaps the silence in his earbuds roused him. Nevertheless, he felt restored, refreshed. He stretched leisurely, breathed deeply, serenely and admired the vacant beach. But in a panic now, he saw that the tent was empty.

Scouring the horizon, he spotted Leo in the distant surf. Clinging to his boogie board, he was being bounced about by waves that broke beyond the jetty. Noah scanned the beach, looking for Natalie, looking for help. He caught sight of the girl climbing a hill to the parking lot. A stranger, a man, had her by the hand. He seemed to be forcing her to follow.

The dead phone in his hand, the twins each in equal peril in opposite directions, Noah scanned the empty beach for help. He looked from one child to the other muttering to himself, “Decide, Noah. Decide.”

– T. Francis Curran