I stood in the middle of a footbridge facing the Las Vegas strip and lazily watched the shift change. My heavy head drifted backwards until I was looking up at an amber tide that slowly started to flood the sky. It was soothing to watch the dark blue sky fade away even though the neon lights never changed. I drew heavy on a cigarette that was closing in on the filter and leaned up to the glass on the bridge. Watching dealers walking out with loose neckties and showgirls with headdresses under their arms slowly staggering about. There were trash men furiously working up and down the curbs of the street, harvesting the plastic cups and bags that grew in bunches every twenty feet or so. You could also find some parties zig-zagging through what was left of the celebration that got them this far: birthdays, weddings, and some corporate convention types still trying to network over giant novelty glasses. 

I stunk. There were some deep sweat stains around my collar and pits and my hair was half greasy, half frizzy. I let the now-out cigarette butt fall from my dry lip and reach into my pocket to pull out a loose billfold and counted 241 dollars, five dollar voucher to Caesar’s Palace, and a business card with an 1800 number on it that loosely offered company. Looking at my cracked phone screen I saw that I had 5 hours until I had to check out of my room and 6 hours til I needed to head to the airport. So the fork presents itself again, do I go back to my room to lick my wounds? A hot shower and meal with a couple of hours of sleep before bowing out gracefully, or I could always rally. Rally for no good reason but to rally. Power on through for one more rush. I decided to consult with higher powers, opening my cigarette packet I could see there was one lone upside-down cigarette, and rally it was.

After lighting the cigarette and using my phone to transfer some funds I started heading back to Caesar’s. Stopping only to duck into a liquor store for a pint of plastic liquor and another pack of cigarettes, the breakfast of champions. Once at the casino, I wanted to clear out my room and check out as quickly as possible to maximize time on the floor before catching my flight. Half the pint of liquor was giving me a newfound speediness. The rapid ringing of the slot machines were cheering me on. My eyes darted to every exchange of money on the tables and every stack of chips being built. My sweat stains were ravenous out of control. I couldn’t make it to the elevator fast enough.

Once in my room, I sprinted through a shower. Throwing clothes around, I needed to get my bag packed. I was moving so frantically that I never took the time to properly dry off. It was rough trying to put my clothes on as they stuck to different parts of my body when I tried to slide them on. I finished my packing and what was left of the liquor then scoured the room until I found a small plastic baggie with a small white corner.  Once the corner was gone I was out the door, leaving the five-dollar voucher on the counter for the cleaners. It wasn’t the best tip I’ve ever left but it’s not like I puked on the floor this time. I got in the elevator and gathered my breath, knowing this was the last moment of peace. The light poppy muzak readied me for battle.   

Back on the floor and embraced by the vibrant lights and cheerful sounds I went searching for the ATM and pulled out another thousand dollars in crisp hundred-dollar bills ready to play their role. After a very few moments of searching the sea of tables I found a half-empty poker table, hold ‘em, 1/3 blinds, no limit, and 5 1/2 hours til my flight. I rolled my bag up the farthest seat and lit another cigarette while producing the fresh grand. After setting the bills on the table I looked up to see the cold eyes of a woman with fair blonde hair. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun and those eyes didn’t flinch while she counted out the money in front of me. Each bill falling made my focus tighter, my body could no longer shake, it was ready for war. Ready to take down a win and prove that this was a good idea. That this isn’t just a waste of time, money, and health. 

“Changing out a thousand” Vicky the dealer said for the table. A series of stoic approval nods from the others at the table confirmed I was at a good table, no small talk or judgment here. We all knew how to do this right but to be fair there were not many casual players skulking around the tables before breakfast. I ordered a double vodka soda from the cocktail waitress and we were off to the races. I anted up for the first hand and looked down to see a 2/7 off suite and knew this was going to be a real test of faith. I had just barely 5 hours to get right with my lord and I was still waiting for that double vodka soda. 

Vicky was colder than Häagen-Dazs in a hailstorm, she was an efficient money-taking machine. It was over an hour til I could even see a face card but luckily three hundred dollars down I hit big on three jacks with the river. It was a real shot for the soul that one was. Running my tongue against my teeth I savored the kill, counting up chips before quickly pushing more back in. And so we danced. Vicky and I proceeded to push and pull chips back and forth for the next couple of hours. People at the table came and went but I had the warrior’s spirit. My cause was a righteous one and this money was my flaming sword, fighting to make everything right in the world. 

Eventually, my stack was starting to stand tall, not that tall but still taller than when I started praying. I needed another cigarette to catch my breath and by shifting the contents in my pocket I accidentally revealed the time. My flight was leaving in 45 minutes, but my stack was still tall. I still had cigarettes and the waitress was heading my way. So once again the fork presented itself, choices had been made. Looking at a pair of jacks with another icy cold double vodka soda, I think I always knew I would miss that flight. So I raised. 

– Cody Mottau