I got your letter the other day. Did you imagine my face when I realized it was your suicide note? The ungodly sound struggling between my lips? The dog running in circles, whining until I started breathing right again?
It’s been more than ten years since you left. I probably don’t have the right to go to pieces like that anymore. But if that were really true, you wouldn’t have written to me at all. Did you do it just to have the last word, like always? Well, I won’t let you this time.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to lecture you. I’ve wasted enough hours trying. I won’t bore you with how I felt when you vanished like a ghost.
The robbery was the second story on the evening news.…
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Grammatically speaking, love is complex and must be handled carefully. As a verb, love can be used in both the active and passive voice, but I most often use it in the active voice, especially if a man’s name is the subject of the sentence, as in John loves me. In this sentence, John is doing the loving and “me” is the recipient of the love–a comforting notion when I’m feeling lonely. Love is also best used in the present tense because if I use the past tense, as in John (or Chris or Mike) loved me, this reminds me that the man in question no longer cares about me, leading to anger and disappointment. If I do speak of a man’s love for me in the past, I usually use the passive voice so that I can easily omit the agent, as in I was loved.…
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He started baling hay at 5:00 that morning, then he and his boys branded cows at 8:00, breakfast missed, again. He’d heft the heifers and throw them down, while a son hit the cow with the hot iron, The Bar Double B, the hair sizzling, smelling like what his Sunday school teacher must have meant by fires of hell, “mephitis” she called it, in her prim voice, all nose and lavender perfume.
After tending the herd, the latter part of the day was spent stringing barbed wire between the post oaks. No lunch, again. Only one torn thumbnail on his left hand; only one burn on his right palm. Not bad for a day’s work. But the sons were off to the city for “real work,” they said, in a bank or insurance job. …
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Friday, 3:02 p.m.
To: v3ng3ful@lunat1c.com
Subject: Break-up
Dear Vengeance,
I’ll just say it. I’m breaking up with you. I just don’t think things are working out between us. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoyed leaving burning paper bags full of unspeakable things on old high school enemies’ porches–probably more than I should–but I don’t think your way of dealing with problems is good for me. And so, as part of my mid-June resolution, I’m going to be honest with you and come clean.
I’ve been seeing Compassion behind your back. I just feel like he’s been giving me such a positive outcome! He doesn’t make me give people bottles full of urine with an Apple Juice label. He doesn’t make me insult people to their face just because they sat in my seat–in fact, he makes me compliment their faces.…
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Shane looked down at the familiar pattern of scratches on the floor, a lopsided snowflake etched by years of boot heels and chair legs. As he did every week, he found the sooty remnant of blue electrical tape that he’d always treated as center stage, or as a spot close enough to center that the emcee never corrected his placement.
He pulled the rickety wooden chair half an inch forward and eased into it without moving the guitar. As he fixed its tuning and adjusted his capo over the second fret, he looked at the sparse crowd, scanning the foreheads so as not to distract himself with eye contact.
Shane thought through the short set he was about to play, and about whether his voice felt up to it after a long shift taking drink orders.…
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Jo-Jo entered commercial establishments sideways, facing right. He hailed taxis with his right arm. During company staff meetings, he planted himself in the end seat, POV starboard. Did Jo-Jo have a psychological problem? OCD? Did an animal eat the left side of his face? Answer: No. Jo-Jo was a mixed-race baby. But not in the way you would think. He is racially divided down the middle. Entire right side, head to toe, white. Left side, Black. Body parts, even-steven.
So why did Jo-Jo’s white right precede the rest of him? He found that people are more likely to take him seriously. Or even take him at all. This is not a practice he pulled out of his nether region, but the result of twenty-five years of societal experience. …
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I have not talked yet about the flies. But they are so much part of what has happened, is happening, that any portrait of our collective misery is incomplete without them. They are the buzzing, maddening accompaniment to all our fears, all our sorrows. In the beginning, they invaded our city singly— that is, a few barely noticed droning little aerial grotesqueries, one alighting its bristled limbs on a streetlamp, another on the underside of the bookshelf, still another on someone’s bare arm— then in great black droves, altering the color and tone of the air.
At first, no one commented on them much because, in addition to having other matters to contend with, warmer weather always brought them in fairly considerable numbers into our city, even during ordinary years, and so they were nuisances that we all knew well.…
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