Parturient Pressures: a Review of ‘Motherhood’ by Sheila Heti

By Alexis Shanley

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Sheila Heti – ‘Motherhood’

The first work of Sheila Heti’s that I read was her book How Should a Person Be?, a novel about being an artist—or, more specifically, a novel about being a woman and an artist, and how those two things inform and sometimes resist one another. The book was extremely polarizing; some reviewers found it riveting in its experimentation, while others found its content indulgent and its lack of form irritating. I was enamored by it, as Heti has an extraordinary ability to capture the convergence of creativity and self-doubt while voicing thoughts most people believe are unsayable.

Like How Should a Person Be?, Heti’s latest novel, Motherhood, isn’t for everyone. For people who turn to books primarily for their plots, this is not the one (or the writer) for you. Motherhood doesn’t read like a traditional novel; it lacks a traditional plot structure. On the surface, nothing really “happens.” In fact, I find this book difficult to talk about because it resists classification, and the full depth of its meaning can only be found through experiencing it.

Broadly, the book is a rumination on procreation and the pressures surrounding it, both internally and societally. The narrator is a woman in her late thirties, grappling with her uncertain feelings about wanting children while feeling the pressure of her window of opportunity closing. In the process of examining her own desires (or lack thereof) regarding child-rearing, she delves into how motherhood functions culturally. She considers her own family history by looking at the long line of mothers who came before her. Meanwhile, her partner makes his disinterest in having kids known and finds her indecision on the subject exasperating. Her friends all seem to have young children, leaving her abandoned in her childlessness. Throughout the novel, she comes up with many convincing reasons why having children isn’t right for her, and yet she can’t be sure she’s making the right choice.

Heti writes about this crippling indecision with searing poignancy, capturing the isolation that comes with such uncertainty. Motherhood is somewhat hard to read, largely because Heti finds ways to ask questions about female existence that unveil thoughts that often reside without articulation. At one point, the narrator declares that whether or not she wants to have kids is “the greatest secret” she keeps from herself. Heti has a gift for finding the words to ask these questions about identity, societal expectations, and trying to find your authentic self once you’ve been contaminated by these external pressures. The narrator expresses her lack of interest in having children, and her simultaneous fear that the desire is somewhere within her, lying dormant and waiting until it’s too late to make itself known.

Admittedly, the book is at times relentless and exhausting, as it circles these questions without reaching any sort of epiphany. But, the fatigue it evokes in the reader feels exactly right for the subject matter. Being implicitly told that you’re failing as a woman is exhausting; having people assure you that you’ll eventually want children is exhausting; and worrying you’ll regret your decision not to is exhausting. Ultimately, Motherhood is a vulnerable reminder of a duress widely felt but rarely located.

– Alexis Shanley