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Micah Tauscher – Hide and Seek

Hide and Seek

Last year I woke up and didn’t see my brother.

He slept across the room from me, but that morning he wasn’t there.  No one knew where he’d gone.  Not Mama.  Not Papa.  Not even the maid who picked up my toys when I wasn’t looking.  A lot of people came and looked for him.  They looked around the house.  They looked in the woods outside.  I could see them through the window.  They even tried to look in the attic, but there were nails in the door.  After a while, we couldn’t find him and gave up.

I didn’t miss him.

He’d been older than me and only talked about girls.  He wasn’t any fun.

Besides, now there was no one to split dessert with. No one to have to share my toys with.  No one else to distract Mama and Papa.  Maybe, it’d be nice to have him to play with, but the maid tells me stories and Papa gives piggyback rides, so I really don’t miss him. 

Papa was tough.  Papa took it okay. 

Mama wasn’t.

Mama looked out the window more after he left and she cried a lot even though she hadn’t hurt herself.  I checked every time.  She told stories about him.  He never started a fight.  He always picked up his messes.  It wasn’t true, but Papa wouldn’t let me tell her that.  Papa said it was the only time she smiled.  She only looked at me and cried. 

Mama wasn’t fun anymore.

Last week, Mama went missing too.

Papa was really worried.  He called the police and they looked everywhere she could have gone.  They checked the garage, but the car was still there.  They looked through the cupboards and flowerbeds, but nothing was out of place.  They even checked the bathroom, but they didn’t find anything.  You don’t hide things in the bathroom.

They never checked the attic.  They said it was sealed.

Plus, the maid lives up there.

Papa’s started looking out the window a lot.  I like to watch him to see what he’ll do if he sees me.  Sometimes he looks scared, like me when I wake up at night and see our maid on the ceiling above me.  Usually, he just calls me over and talks to me.  It’s fun, I guess, but he doesn’t give piggyback rides anymore. 

I miss the piggyback rides.

Sometimes I miss Mama and I get a little sad, but the maid tells me stories.  Most of them are fun.  She won’t when Papa’s around, so we wait until Papa’s asleep.  She tells the stories until I get bored, then she plays hide and seek with me.  She says that I’m the only one who ever found her –when she was picking up my trucks and hiding Legos in the corners of the house.  She says that’s why she plays with me.  She says that she can teach me to hide good enough that no one will ever find me.

I ask her if that’s what Mama and my brother are doing. 

She says no.  She says that they weren’t good at hide and seek, that when you’re not good at a game you can’t keep playing.

I ask her if Papa is good at it.  She says she doesn’t know but she doesn’t think so.  I tell her that I bet he is. 

I’ve been hiding for three days now, and Papa can’t find me.  He can’t even find the maid and she’s just been standing behind him for most of the day.  She told me last night that Papa wasn’t very good.  She didn’t want him playing anymore.  I guess today’s his last chance, but that’s okay.

The maid’s more fun anyway.

Micah Tauscher

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Dane Karmick – Unforeseen

Unforeseen

Out of the blue
your gray matter
is tickled pink
with flying colors
you achieve peace
so you’re cool
as a cucumber
your thoughts
flat as a pancake
because you see
the whole enchilada
the world is slow
as molasses
like a brush stroke
over canvass
that completes a
portrait of bliss
resembling some
psychic reading or
astral projection
the third eye
channeling
the premiere of
epic stillness
written and directed
beyond time
starring what is
until you cast
the first stone
one by one
you put
two and two
together
feeling the rush
of division
pull your
whole number
into pieces.

Dane Karmick

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Heather M. Browne – Just for a Moment

Just for a Moment

Did you feel it stop?
Just for a moment.
The earth held its ground and waited for me.
I was running late, just a few moments
and would have missed you
without the earth’s patience.
I ran faster in its pausing
and caught your eye
as the air held its breath.
Did my pounding feet
match your heart?

I was flushed from racing,
a bit out of breath.
I wonder if you thought that, you?
And so we met,
just for that moment.
Me, rosy and breathless,
you, dressed lovely in your suit and tie
standing in line waiting for
lunch
“Yes, I’d like that.  We can share.”
Tuna and tea for two.

Is that how love happens?
The earth’s master plan shuddering in earthquakes,
whispering in raindrops and pausing in moments?

Did you feel the surge within when it re-started?
Or did your heart think it solely my face?
Not knowing the earth’s conspiracy between us.

– Heather M. Browne

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Mariah Montoya – The Green Shirt with the Cat on It

The Green Shirt with the Cat on It

Green and purple and blue light streamed into the church through the pictures of lambs and Jesus with children sitting on his lap. The congregation consisted of forty-seven Baptists, eleven Nazarenes, twenty-two Mormons, six Jews, one lone Muslim, seventeen who did not attend church but were nevertheless bowed in prayer, and a number of individuals who did not believe in God or define themselves as anything religiously. They were friends and parents and teachers and shop owners and doctors and liars and stealers – but they were all mourners. There was a baby who was crying and a ninety-six year old woman who was crying. They wore black pants with collared white shirts, and flowery skirts with gray blouses, and khakis, and dresses, and jeans, and suits. They each had a pamphlet with a picture of a little girl’s face on the front, beaming out at them all, freckles sprinkled across her nose and cheeks. Below her picture was a poem she had written at six years old, just two months before her body was crushed into a thousand pieces by a semi as she was crossing the street on her bike to go to school:

The grass is cool wherever Kalonice walks
The birds love to sing whenever Kalonice talks
Kalonice is sweet and good and kind.
Kalonice dances and sings in my mind
Kalonice, my friend, makes my heart hum.
But where, oh where, is Kalonice from?

Nobody, not one, knew who Kalonice was. The mother of the girl had found the poem folded up in a princess coloring book two days after the accident, composed of unstable writing and a few misspellings, but ones that were easily fixed by cousins and family members who had flown in to support the girl’s family during this “tragic time,” as they put it. The girl’s mother didn’t think it was a time at all. Time had stopped. There was no meaning to time anymore, with her baby gone. May had been her first baby, the baby that had first moved around in her stomach, kicking and playing and hiccupping. Time did not deserve to exist or move forward without May. Continue Reading »

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Ryan Morse – Marshall and the Martians

Marshall and the Martians

When we were seven, Marshall and I would play astronauts and Martians. He was always the astronaut, and I was always the monster. By virtue of being 23 minutes older, and somehow much bigger, he always got to be the good guy, but he never let himself be the winner. He was always going down in a hail of laserfire or jumping on an imaginary bomb to save a bunch of imaginary lives.

I wonder whose life he imaged he was saving in the end.

I was the evil, ugly Martian, doomed to die, if I had been playing with anyone else. Not Marshall.  Even though I always won, his incessant martyrdom always made me feel weaker. Already significantly shorter and skinnier, and much less athletic, he found a way to make me feel even more helpless by always being the one to sacrifice himself.

I hated him for that. I got over it eventually, but I think even that was temporary.

That is not to say we weren’t close once. Back then, we also used to convince all our friends and family that we could communicate telepathically. It was all Marshall’s idea. We were, of course, faking it, but I think we sold it fairly well. We started off by agreeing on a bunch of predetermined thoughts. So many, in fact, that I had a hard time remembering them all. Each one had a corresponding hand signal. We’d stare each other down and Marshal would be discretely flashing me signs, like a catcher to a pitcher, a crooked grin stretching his face.  Continue Reading »

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Miles White – More Love Tomorrow

More Love Tomorrow

How much pain can the human heart endure was more than a rhetorical question for Jill at this point – it was more like how much pain could she endure, or continue to endure, because every day she had to endure it, and endure more of it than the day before, or so it seemed. The times when Anne was lucid were becoming less frequent, but Jill lived for those times, when Anne looked up from the bed with those sparkling brown eyes and remembered who she was. How are you, dear?, she would ask, more concerned for Jill than for herself. Are you getting enough to eat? You look thin as a bird, for Chrissakes. I should cook you something.

Jill always smiled at this, one of the few times she smiled anymore, but it quickly became not so funny. Anne had not cooked in years and did not remember she was in a hospice. A few times she actually tried to get out of bed, going Heat up the stove for me. Do we have any flour? I’ll make biscuits and jam. Jill feared these times because then Anne would look around her and realize she was strapped down to the bed and become alarmed, then frightened. She did not understand what was happening to her. Why are you doing this to me, Jill?, she would say, looking up at her with the eyes of an uncomprehending child. Jill would whisper softly to her, trying to keep her own emotions in check. It’s for your own good, she would say. We can’t keep having you walking off in the middle of the night so nobody can find you, now can we? Anne would look at her, puzzled, but the effort of trying to think, to piece things together, was too much for her. Her eyes glazed over and she left again for the other place. Most of the time now, she was in that place. At least there, Jill thought and believed, she was safe, free from all this.

Jill came every day now. She used all her vacation time and then took an unpaid leave of absence. Carl was able to take care of himself and the girls most of the time and keep his plumbing company running but he had to hire on another guy which he was fine with. He had told her to go and be with Anne. He would do the same thing if he were her; it’s not as if she had a choice. Anne was all alone. Sometimes Jill brought photo albums. When Anne had clear moments she sometimes took them out and they went through them and had good laughs. She had not taken the albums out in weeks now. The clear days became a few good moments in the course of a week; Jill never knew when Anne would open her eyes and not know her anymore, and when she didn’t know where she was or who Jill was she started to have panic attacks. She would ask for people. Tell James I want to go home, she said one day all of a sudden. Call James, I said. Tell him to come and get me. She became insistent and Jill tried to calm her down, but she told her the truth. James is dead, Anne. He died a long time ago. Don’t you remember?

Jill brought a CD player. When Anne was lucid she put on Louis Armstrong. One day Anne started singing to What a Wonderful World while Jill held her hand and cried. That was the last time Anne spoke, but Jill still played songs as long as her eyes retained a glint of recognition, until Jill knew Anne was no longer listening. The last time she came she had waited until evening; one of the girls was sick and Carl couldn’t manage alone. Anne had soiled herself and she smelled. The nurses had not changed her all day. Jill screamed at them; she cursed them. When Anne was clean and her bed changed Jill sat beside her stroking her hair. She could see Anne wasn’t coming back from the other place anymore. They were giving her morphine now and the nurses had showed Jill how to program the analgesia infusion pump next to the bed. She quickly reset it, then kissed Anne on the forehead. Goodnight, Mom.  I’ll see you in the morning, she said, squeezing Anne’s hand. It may have just been a reflex but Anne squeezed back. Jill pressed the pump and felt Anne’s hand relax. Then she pressed it one more time.

– Miles White

Author’s NoteThe Canvas Sextet is a collection of six volumes of provocative flash fiction – 300 stories altogether – consisting of mostly realism that crosses a range of genres. My “canvas” is one blank sheet of paper, 12 point, Times Roman, single spaced, around 800 words. The stories must be contained within that space, just as a painter is bound by a single canvas to convey a complex story through visual imagery. “More Love Tomorrow” is the title story from Volume Four, due in 2015.

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Cassia Gaden Gilmartin – So Damn Warm

So Damn Warm

Under the blankets she shivers like she’s out in the snowstorm, not curled safe in our bed with the lights out. I close the door behind me, but I don’t move to warm her. She’s piled those blankets so high tonight, so high and so heavy. The heat’s turned way up in here. Outside, the snow falls for real, thick sheets of it tumbling from clouds that block the moonlight. A few stars shine through, though. Just enough light to see her by.

“Allie?” The pillow turns her voice to a bare murmur, like the voice she uses when I’m there beside her, our hands and hair twined together, one blanket sheltering us both. Like the voice I spoke with when I started school, mumbling at my shoes, before her kindness opened me up. She blinks at the half-open curtains. “There’s snow.”

There’s snow.  I’ve just come in the door but I want to roll around in it, bunch it in my fists, let it soak through my coat. God, I haven’t even taken off my coat. “They said there would be. The forecast after the news.”

She sits up to stare at me. As she rises the sleeve of her T-shirt slips down, baring one white shoulder. I can hardly see her face, but I see the freckle on that shoulder – a little black hole drinking in the light. I’ve loved her for that more than anything. Even my Mom used to love that freckle. Kat had hers on her left shoulder; mine was on my right, its mirror image, and we pretended we were sisters. We thought we were only sisters, for a time.

“You’ve been home a while.” The pillow’s gone, but her voice stays low. “I heard the front door open.”

“I’m sorry.” Suddenly, there’s shame. I blush, and mean the words even though I never meant to say them. “It’s the first time I’ve seen her since – you know. Since Mom died.” Aunt Linda was quiet when I visited her house tonight, the sleeve of her woollen jumper unravelled. There were shadows beneath her eyes. She smiled at me, the way Mom never did since I told them about Kat. We didn’t talk about the funeral (Kat and I came together, wearing matching silver rings), or about the house, though I know she’s sold it now. We didn’t mention the tabby cat who used to come for food, or ask whether anyone still fed him. Continue Reading »

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