Meditation on Race
By Sjohnna McCray
Posted on
It used to bother me—the way people
would cut their eyes at us as if they knew
our story. One white, one black, two men.
At first, no one regarded our coupling
as extraordinary. Youth gave us skin
to believe in and the cheapest of beer
to swill. It’s acceptable to buck rules
when you’re beautiful. But now, when our
clothes are out of fashion and our hair is thin
and grey, when one of us walks slower
than the other and the other waits patiently
at the corner, now, people notice:
one white, one black, old men. Our history,
the tilt of our bodies in conversation
reveals a kindness that was promised
but remains unrealized, a whisper
of high yellow, good hair, tan paper bag skin.
In New York, of all places,
down in the Village, two men pass us
and in their sameness, in their whiteness,
one turns to his lover and says, What was that?
I am briefly ashamed of our differences.
One white, one black, holding hands. In Vidalia,
at Harvey’s grocery store, two black elders
perfumed in spray starch and lavender
stare us down the meat aisle until
even your shield of antibacterial politeness
is penetrated. Did you see that? You ask
in the parking lot and I take your face
in my hands and say, Yes. I am never
not seeing; It’s endless.