I just got word. My elementary school’s scheduled for demolition tomorrow. It’s a devastating announcement. Something doesn’t sit right with deliberately tearing down a building built to educate—to encourage learning. This place was the primary setting of my childhood; now in a matter of hours, it’ll be bulldozed, and all that’ll remain is a pile of dusty rubble over its concrete foundation. It was my foundation too. I’m stunned. That blocky brick building where I pined after my first crushes and learned to read and write. Gone. My childhood, leveled. What becomes of memories once their physical tether’s been removed?

In fourth grade, we had this grueling geology exam where we circled the classroom like vultures, identifying rock samples laid out on desks. I failed it—miserably. I was a very determined straight-A student, but I’ve got aphantasia. I can’t visualize. Growing up, no one talked about it, so I didn’t even know it was possible for brains to function differently. Without visual memory, I’m stuck memorizing each object’s specific physical characteristics. I struggle with most faces, let alone rocks. I panicked, jotted down random guesses for all but one. The worst part? I love geology. I wasn’t stupid but sure felt dumb. Glossy glassy obsidian was the sole sample memorable enough for me to get right—it’s as black as my brain’s blank slate.

Soon that’ll be the school too. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Remember how Sally from Peanuts would converse with her school’s brick wall? I always loved that, thought it was her silliest but most endearing trait. School, I’m sorry I threw balls at your face. I was a brat. Really. I miss the cool, abrasive touch of your bricks in the heat of summer after a sweltering recess. Thanks for being the container where I went to learn. Let’s try and make your demolition symbolic. Learning’s an endless endeavor, right? I used to think it was contained to school and homework, but I know now you’ve got to keep going—long, long after the structure is gone.

– Abbie Doll

Author’s Note: Discover joy in learning and always, always talk to buildings.