Clyde was cleaning out the closet.  There was always too much stuff, and he knew he shouldn’t keep it.  There were old papers, and only God knew what they were or how long they had been there.  Then there was the camping gear.  He used to like to camp.  He went out several times a year.  But that was before he had met Daisy, before he fucked her, before he asked her to move in. 

“Will you open the other window?” Daisy called from the living room.  “It’s hot.”

She was pouting.  He could hear it in her voice.  She was pretty even when she pouted.  That window, the one that stuck, it upset her beyond reason, the fact she couldn’t open it, that she couldn’t have her way. 

“It’s not hot.  It’s San Francisco.”

Clyde stepped out from the avalanche of garbage falling from the closet.  He walked to the window where she was standing, holding up the curtain.  She was looking out. 

“There’s a guy out there,” and her voice registered such disgust.  “He’s going through the garbage.”  

Clyde walked over and shoved the window until it opened.  The guy down there must have heard it, but didn’t look up from inside the dumpster.  A bicycle was propped against the wall beside the dumpster; it had an old baby carriage behind it, towing it like a trailer. 

“Clyde, why don’t you do something?”

“About what?”

“About the guy.  They’re not supposed to do that.”

“He’s not hurting anyone.” 

“Well, it’s gross and I don’t like it.”

Clyde sighed.  Girls.  They always want you to do their dirty work.  Things they would never do themselves.  He went to the closet and gathered up some of the trash.  Papers and camping food that had just expired.  The freeze dried chicken and lasagna could be twenty years old. And he wasn’t about to go camping.  Not with Daisy. 

“I’ll take this stuff down and talk to him.” 

“Good.”

At the dumpster, he called “hello,” and the guy stuck out his head. 

“Hey, man, how’s it going?”

“Not bad.  How ‘bout you?”

“Could be worse.  Hey, just set it down, and I’ll toss it in for you.”  He ducked his head down, then came up again and looked at Clyde. 

“Thanks.”  He hesitated.  “You all right?  Looking for anything in particular?” 

“Just food.  People throw it out, you know.” 

“Some of this is food.  It’s freeze dried, you know, for camping.  Just add boiling water.  It’s a old, but it’s meant to last forever.”  He paused.  “Do you want it?  If you do, I have some more upstairs.”

The guy climbed out of the dumpster to look at it.  “Well, I’ll be damned.  Chicken and potato.  And it doesn’t need to be refrigerated?”

“No, it’s dried.  It’s not the best food you’ll ever eat, but it’s not too bad once you get used to it.”

“Well, hey, man, I’ll try it.  I’ll try anything.”

“You having some hard times?”

“Nah, the hard times, I think they’re in the past.  I quit my job you see, and now I forage.”  He had been working as a painter, painting sheds, garages, industrial and commercial buildings.  His boss would send him out, then come by and harass him, saying he wasn’t doing it right.  “But I was always finished, and the building, it looked fine.  He couldn’t find nothing wrong with the paint, just with how I did it.  I couldn’t take it anymore, so one day, I up and quit.”  His wife left him, he explained, and he moved back with his mother.  Now he went out every day and came back with food.  It was better than that job, and he was finally happy.  “You know, it’s not so bad.  The trash, it stinks, but I’m outside all day.  And there’s no boss to please.”

“Well, I’m glad it’s working out.  I’ll go get the rest of the food, OK?”

“Alright.  Another bag or two, and I can wrap things up for the day.”

Clyde went upstairs. 

“What on earth were you doing?  I saw you down there talking to him.”

“He was telling me how he got into this.”

“Into garbage?”

“He calls it foraging.”  Clyde walked to the closet and gathered up the camping food.  “I’m going to give him the rest of this.”

“You’re really giving him food?”

“Don’t worry.  If it fills up his cart, he’s sure to go.”

When Clyde returned, the man was pleased.  “Hey, thanks.  That’s real nice of you.”

“No problem.  Take it easy.”

When Clyde went back to his apartment, he found his friend Benjamin inside.  He was in the kitchen, leaning up against the door jamb, talking with Daisy.

“Hey, Clyde, how’s it going?”

“Fine.  I wasn’t expecting you today.”

“Well, I was in the area, so I just thought I’d drop by.  Besides, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“A couple of us were thinking of going camping, you know, this weekend.  Somewhere close, maybe Yosemite.”

Clyde groaned.  “Seriously?  I just threw out all my old camping food.”

“I heard you didn’t throw it out.  Daisy said you gave it to some homeless guy.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Daisy said.  “Clyde can’t go anyway.  He promised we’d go to a party with my sister.”

“Why don’t you come camping too?”  Benjamin asked her.  “Bring your sister.  One of us might get lucky.”

Daisy socked him in the stomach.  “I can’t.  It’s important, and I promised.”

“Well,” Ben said, looking at Clyde, “let me know if you change your mind.”  He glanced at Daisy and winked at her.  “You, too.  And your sister.” 

“Don’t you want to stay a bit?  You only just got here.  We have some beer.”

“I’ve got to go.  I’m on my lunch break.  And I’ve been here twenty minutes.  I got here when you were out there with the bum.”

“Where were you hiding when I came back up a minute or two ago?”

“The bathroom,” Daisy clarified.  “I was about to tell you, but you went back out.”

#

Clyde’s friends were in love with Daisy, but he was used to it, or thought he was.  He remembered when he first met her at his brother’s party, almost two years back.  He hated his brother’s parties, though there were always plenty of pretty girls.  The trouble wasn’t them.  The trouble was his brother.  Kevin was the oldest, and better in every way.  He was so good-looking, the girls flung themselves at him.  He was smart, too, with his degree from Berkeley, and just one glance at his apartment bespoke his salary.  Under normal circumstances, Clyde could hold his own.  But in the presence of his brother, he was always at a disadvantage.  Still, Kevin had introduced him to Daisy, and she seemed immediately taken.

“Oh, you must be the good one!”  That was the first thing she said to him.

“Me?”

“Yes, I can see it in your eyes.”  Daisy touched his face.  “Brothers are never equal.  One is always better.” 

“Most people would pick Kevin.”

“They don’t know what’s good.” 

At that moment, Clyde knew he might not be in love with her, but he definitely wanted her.

#

Daisy was still pretty, but she wasn’t quite the same.  She stood there at the window after Benjamin had left.  He thought she was watching him disappear down on the street below.

“Everything is such a waste! Such trash!”  She sighed deeply, as if to make a point.  “I don’t know what to do.”

“This weekend?”

“In general.”  She slumped into a chair.  “We ought to do something.  You know, before we’re too old and it’s too late.”

Clyde became suspicious.  Was she thinking of getting married?  That didn’t seem like her, but with girls, you could never know the what went through their heads. God, it was better not to think too much about it.  But he had to answer.  She was looking directly at him.

“What?”

“I don’t know.  Something different.”  She waved her hand to indicate the apartment.  “Something besides all this.”

“You want me to get rid of the apartment?  We’ll never find one this cheap.”

“You hate your job.  You’re bored, and I am too.” 

Now this was quite a statement since Daisy didn’t work.  She had had a part-time job, but she lost it not long after she moved in.  He never bothered her about it.  He could afford the place on his own.  And sometimes she cooked and cleaned.  Still, to claim that she was bored when she could do as she pleased all day. 

“Please.”  Daisy said.  She came over to him, wrapped her arms around him, jumped up, and wrapped her legs around his waist.  He could feel his will begin to weaken as he felt himself grow hard. 

#

That’s how the idea to take the trip began.  Daisy hadn’t seen the world.  She had grown up in San Francisco, the boundaries of Golden Gate Park forming the limit of her naturalistic education.  When Clyde had suggested they travel for awhile, she took agreed.   

“Are you sure you want to go?  I mean, you never wanted to go camping.”

“But you said, it’s the only way we can afford it.”

“That doesn’t mean you’ll like it.”

“Well, it’s not like sleeping in a tent.”  She smiled.  “I think things will work out fine in a van.”

Clyde was unsure, though he couldn’t give a reason.  Still, he made the preparations.  He had some savings, and he used it to buy and outfit a van for camping.  It was a hip thing to do, a west coast sort of thing that everyone admired.  His friends were jealous, or at least they said they were.     

He decided not to sublet the apartment; he was going to give it up.  Perhaps some part of him hoped never to return at all.  Part of getting rid of it was getting rid of all the stuff inside that was overpriced trash.  He made daily trips to the dumpster, and one day, he saw the man again.

“Hey, man, you the one who gave me all that food?”

“Yeah.”

“You know, at first, when I tried it, I thought this stuff was pretty weird, but then I kept eating it, and you know, I got used to it, and it ain’t bad.”

“Glad you could use it.”

“Thanks, man, ‘preciate it.”

Clyde held a yard sale, or rather a sidewalk sale, since there wasn’t a yard.  People came by all day, and all day he fended off birds, trying to peck the furniture, and stray cats looking for a place to curl up, and dogs that came by to sniff around.  Almost nothing sold; the one that did was his fishing pole, which he wondered whether he should have kept.  Toward evening, he began to try to give the stuff away. 

“You like it?”  he said whenever someone came up to an item.  “You can have it.  It’s yours for free.”  They looked at him, suspicious, as though he had made them an inappropriate proposal.  And then they withdrew their hand and slunk away.

When night fell, a policeman came by and looked at him warily.  He began to take armfuls of the stuff and escort it to the dumpster. 

#

The day before they were to leave, Kevin threw a party. 

“Do we really have to go?” Daisy asked. 

“How can you say that?  My brother’s throwing the party for our goodbye.”  Their friends would be coming to see them off.  What had gotten into Daisy, he wondered.  She used to be social.  Something must be wrong, but whenever he asked her, she shrugged it off. 

The party had good music and great beer.  Late in the evening, Clyde found himself more than a little drunk when he stood.  He searched for Daisy, whom he hadn’t seen in awhile.  The apartment wasn’t big.  He didn’t find her, but he ran into Sylvia, Kevin’s girlfriend They were engaged.

“How are you doing there, Clyde?  You look like you could use a hand or maybe a shoulder.”  Sylvia smiled at him.  He always liked her. 

“I’m all right, but thanks.”  He reached out a hand and steadied himself against the wall.  “I was looking for Daisy.  Have you seen her?”

She scanned the room.  “No, I don’t see her.  She must be in the bathroom.”

“Where’s Benjamin?  I can’t find him.”

“Maybe he went with Kevin.”

“Where? A club or something?”

Sylvia laughed.  “No, he just went down to the corner to buy a case of beer.  He should be back.”

“Well, I’m off in search of a chair.  Let me know when you find them.”

“I will.”

Sometime later on, he spotted Daisy entering the room. 

“Where were you?” he asked her.  “I think that we should go.”

“Fine with me.”

“Let’s say good-bye to Kevin and Sylvia.”

“You go.  I’ve said goodbye.”

#

Clyde drove south on Highway 1, winding down along the California coast.  They spent the first night on a secluded beach, and Daisy was quiet.  The next day, they drove into L.A. and parked at Venice Beach.  That night, Clyde tried to get her to sleep on the sand.  “It’s late.  No one will bother us.  We can make out by the ocean.”  But Daisy wouldn’t go for it.  She wanted to sleep inside the van.

After the night at Venice Beach, they drove south to San Diego, which Daisy found too crowded, and then east to the Salton Sea.  She found it too ugly.  “There’s nothing here,” she pointed out.  “It’s weird, a lake without any trees.”  They went to Joshua Tree, and camped for several days.  Each night, they went to a different campground.  Clyde liked every one, but Daisy only liked the gift shop stickers.  She bought thirty, and spent hours carefully arranging them on the van.  “They have to be in the right spot,” she told him.  “Otherwise, they’ll look tacky.”

“Why did you get so thirty stickers,” he asked after driving out of Joshua Treet, “when you didn’t like the park?”

“That’s not true,” she protested.  “I liked the ocotillo.”

They drove through the Mohave Desert and into the Sonoran.  The Joshua trees disappeared, replaced by the saguaros.

“Don’t you like them?” he asked Daisy.

“I like this even less.” She swept her arm to include not just the saguaros, but the entire desert land. 

“I thought you’d like them.  They’re like in Looney Tunes.  You know, the famous cactus.”

“You’re right, they are.  But there’s nothing funny out here.  Just a bunch of rocks.  I mean, it’s not really even sand.”

Clyde drove south to an oasis.  “You’ll like it here,” he told her.  “There are palm trees and a spring.” 

He turned down a long dirt road. 

“It doesn’t look like anything.”

“Just wait till we get there.”

When they got out, he asked if she liked it.

She looked around and shrugged her shoulders.  “It’s hot,” she said.  “I thought it would be nicer.  And look, there’s garbage over there.” She point to some paper bags, soda cups, and burned tin cans.

Angry, he turned on her.  “What’s wrong with you?  You don’t like anything!”

“That’s not true!” 

“Name one thing that you’ve liked.”

“I liked the ocotillo.”

“Not while we were there!”  He paused, and went ahead and said it.  “You like Benjamin, though, don’t you?  You wish you were here with him instead.”

“So what, you think I’m cheating?  When I came out here with you?”

“I saw you at the party.  I saw you disappear.”

“So what is it that you think?  You think I went off with Benjamin?”

“That’s exactly what I think.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Oh, is it?”

“Yes,” she said.  “It is.”  She looked at a lizard that ran in front of her.  “You think I fucked him?  At the party?”

“I don’t think, I know you did.  How long have you been cheating?”

“You’re such a fucking idiot!”

“I’m not that anymore.”

“I wasn’t fucking Benjamin.”  She paused, then broke into a sardonic smile as she tossed her long hair behind her shoulder.  “Do you really want to know?  I was sleeping with your brother.  I’ve been seeing him all along.”

Clyde turned away from her and started walking.  “Hey, where are you going?” she called out, but he kept walking until he came to a scrubby little bush.

“I have to fucking pee.”

“I’m going, too, behind that tree down there.  If someone comes, don’t let them go down there.” 

There were no cars or people.  There hadn’t been for miles.

Clyde zipped up quickly before heading to the van.  He found her backpack, which he threw out the door.  Then he turned the key in the ignition and started driving, very slowly, down the dirt road back toward the highway.  He didn’t look back in the rearview mirror, but he thought he heard her running toward him and he thought he heard her scream.

– Jennifer Handy