Gary stepped into the bathroom and sighed. He’d been wanting to disconnect the app-deck from the bathroom mirror and delete the app, but the deck had cost him $50, not to mention $100 for the required one-year subscription. The ad popped up one evening while he was perusing the profiles on Soul Mates. Need a personal coach who will help cultivate your perfect look and help you present your best self to potential partners? With Mirror Mirror, you are just one click away from finding your ideal mate in days!

The novelty of the app and speaker for his car had worn off quickly.

Gary flipped the switch, galvanizing the insectile buzz of florescence which flooded the bathroom. He stopped and looked at his reflection from the doorway. Not close enough. He’d have to get right up there to make sure there weren’t any bats in the cave, or bits of food stuck in his teeth. He sighed, reminding himself that she was worth it.

Gary approached the mirror and leaned in close to check his nostrils, wincing inwardly when he heard the click of the deck. The commentary began.

“Showered, dressed, and shaved, you look in the mirror for final inspection. Skin looks good—Not so much as a blemish, save for the freckles. Your thinning hair is neatly combed, and your eyes . . . You’ve been told they’re your best feature. Before turning to leave, you take one more good look at yourself. Perfect. Well, good as can be anyway. Nobody’s perfect. Something else they’ve always told you. Your friends. The ones who are girls, but never girlfriends. Don’t worry, that will change. Tonight. You wink at your reflection. Sometimes she winks at you. Such a small thing, but someone once told you the small things are what count the most. Not to mention the way she smiles when she sees you. Claudia.”

Gary killed the light as he left the bathroom.

“You’re on your way,” the voice continued once he was sitting in the driver seat and buckled in.

Gary pulled out of the parking lot.   

“You picture her in your mind: long black hair, smooth dark skin, brown eyes with lashes a princess would envy, a smile that almost glows, petite figure, and bubbly personality that reminds you of a cheerleader. Except Claudia’s different.”

Claudia’s sweet, Gary thought.

“You smile, remembering how long it’s been since you’ve had to pay for a non-alcoholic beverage at the restaurant. Next, you think of the time Claudia wasn’t your waitress, but she refilled your drinks and brought you more napkins anyway. Then there was the time she pretended it was your birthday, and brought you a free sundae. When she asked how old, you told her seventeen, and the two of you laughed. Then she said, me too, and you both laughed some more, knowing neither of you have been seventeen for several years. But free sundaes and drinks aside, Claudia finally gave you that special signal last week. She told you not to be a stranger, then she winked.

“The familiar green and yellow sign appears on the horizon as the light turns red. You slam on the brakes. After what feels like an hour, the light changes back to green. Five minutes later, you’re turning into the parking lot, when something occurs to you. What if she’s off this evening? Claudia has been here every Friday you’ve been here, but that doesn’t mean she couldn’t ask for a night off. No, we mustn’t buy trouble. Besides, tonight’s the night, nothing can ruin that. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and enter the restaurant.”

Claudia smiled and waved when she saw Gary. She served drinks to a nearby table of four, then directed him to one across from them. Moments later, she returned with Gary’s usual, a Shirley Temple with two cherries on top, and slid into the booth across from him. Gary’s eyes widened.

“Hi, do you mind?” she asked.

Gary shook his head.

Claudia smiled and looked everywhere but at Gary. It made him think of his first date. Finally, Claudia looked at him.

“Listen, there’s this guy I’ve been wanting to ask out, for a while actually, but I’m not sure how to approach him.”

Gary sucked in a breath but forgot to release it. He waited for Claudia to continue. When she didn’t, he wondered if she was waiting for him to reply. Then she said,

“What do you think I should do, Gary?”

Claudia gave him a full tooth-grin.

Gary released the breath and cleared his throat. “Well, I think, you should just, let him know how you feel.”

The young woman sprang up from the booth clapping her hands, as if starting a cheer.

“That’s what I wanted to hear, thank you Gary. He’s been hired as a cook for the Summer Break . . .”

Gary didn’t hear the rest, he felt foolish believing that some stupid app would really be able to help him. When he tuned back in, Gary realized Claudia was looking at him. Her eyebrows raised.

“Do you need a few minutes, or do you want your usual?”

“Yeah, need a few minutes, not sure what I’m in the mood for.”

“Of course,” she replied. Claudia stepped away and was back, laying a menu in front of him, as though she hadn’t left the spot.

“I’ll let you look at this and come back to check on you.”

Claudia all but skipped away.

Gary opened a menu for the first time in months. An asterisk in the Drinks section caught his eye. He located the corresponding message, written in small print: Frequent customers eligible for a complimentary non-alcoholic beverage with free refills!

Gary put the menu down, not feeling very hungry after all.

Claudia returned. Her smile looked wide enough to split her face in half. “So, I just talked to Gavin. He said yes. We’re going out next Friday. Thank you, Gary, you really made my night.” She glanced at the menu on the table. “You know what you want?”

Gary opened his mouth to say he wasn’t hungry after all, but changed his mind and said, “The usual”.

Toward the end of the meal, Claudia set down the check and a free sundae. “Just the way you like it,” she winked.

“Thank you.” Gary smiled, hoping it looked convincing.

When both the entrée and sundae were gone, he picked up the check and saw she had only charged him for the drink. Gary took out his wallet and paid for everything. She could keep the extra for her tip. He considered getting a pen and some paper to leave her a message: Enjoy your date on me!

Instead, Gary stood and left.

The instant he backed out of the space, the speaker began its litany.

“Driving home, you tell yourself you won’t cry, knowing you will. It seems as built into this shameful pattern of your love-life as complimentary drinks are part of the restaurant’s policy.”

Gary walked in the front door and approached the couch, ready to begin the self-pity party of tears. A loud beep from somewhere in the house startled him. He stumbled and fell on the couch. A few seconds later, he heard it again. His search led to the bathroom. Gary stood looking into the dark, wondering if the deck was crashing. Red flashed as another beep struck the silence. Gary turned on the light and approached the mirror.

“You have a message from one of your friends. The one who said you’re not perfect, but good as can be. She wants you to call her about something important. Suddenly, you wonder why you thought Claudia was the only woman out there. You tell yourself not to jump to conclusions and get all excited. It could be about anything. Only one way to find out. You reach for your phone to call, then remember what another friend told you, a guy. Always wait three days before calling, otherwise you look desperate. That’s probably good advice, you decide. Looking at the clock, you realize it’s too early for bed. You take out your Android to look up movie showtimes.”

– Shaun Keyes-McClements

Author’s Note: “Small Print” started as an experimental exercise using the second-person POV. Realizing it was missing something, I decided to add a science-fiction element.