When I first began the process for Watch Us Begin, it was simply going to be a pamphlet of what I considered to be some of my best poems. A few months later, it became a fully-fledged collection, with each poem complimented by an illustration by my best friend, Leah Bainbridge. There was something oddly poetic about the fact that Leah accompanied me on this creative journey, as she has been a present, and unwavering support throughout the emotional journey that this collection tracks.

I write poetry, quite simply, to express myself. Over the years, this has become increasingly important to me, as my poems are an amalgamation of words and thoughts that I struggle to express with any real clarity. Rather, I find refuge in the metaphors and illustrative language that brings my feelings to life. It starts with a line, or two, that won’t leave my head. A comparison, a question, a complaint. It becomes a commentary, a testament, to the truth of my experiences. There’s something quietly powerful about that, for me. Poetry is the way I don’t back down. Poetry literally stops me from giving in, because the words themselves remind me of a time I chose to fight back, and say something, instead of letting events and emotions disappear like smoke. They are, in a lot of ways, keys to my own healing, almost as if my inner self is quietly reaching out and saying you’re still here.

I describe this collection as just the beginning of my creative journey, and I mean that truthfully. I’m never going to stop writing. I couldn’t if I tried. Watch Us Begin traces my coming-of-age, from teens to early adulthood. How exciting it is to know that there are many more experiences to have, meaning many more words, and many more poems. The collection covers themes you would expect from a coming-of-age collection: identity, discovery, love, loss, change. Perhaps change is what ties them all together. I say I’ve never been good with change (it’s what comes with having a slightly anxious disposition!) but ironically, change is what’s allowed my writing to take shape and develop over the years, so maybe I don’t give myself enough credit.

The poem, The Birds, for example, traces a love that circles but never quite grounds itself, exploring two people making their way in the world and finding intermittent comfort within each other. Crucially, the persona is learning the importance of accepting that sometimes love is not enough, but nevertheless, it is not wasted; simply redirected.

“And I love you
As your head rests on my shoulder
Counting down the hours till the dawn chorus
And we’re both that little bit older.”

Once Upon a Time is the most recent poem to feature in the collection, and perhaps the most nostalgic, exploring the small, unique, and impressionable rituals of childhood, and the longing for the same simplistic way of life.

“I used to be small enough to fit my whole reflection in
Morrison’s mirror, above the bread aisle
Now, I can barely see my legs.”

The poems began to take a weight of their own once the collection had been decided upon. They were no longer being read by myself alone but were about to be present in the hands and minds of close friends and family, and even strangers. I didn’t know how to feel about that at first. I still don’t, in a way. I felt a sense of responsibility, not just to them, but to myself, to do the collection justice. To present it with the sort of attitude that brought the poems to life in the first place. Poetry is entirely subjective. That’s one of the reasons I am so fond of it. Someone is going to take something different from one of my poems than I intended, bringing them a new lease of life, and as such, a sort of revival. Crafting the collection felt almost like a release of all those years. A way of bringing everything to a close, as such, before starting a new chapter.

The response has been better than I could have expected:

“From someone who doesn’t usually read poetry, I found this quite impactful.”

“Such wonderful poetry complemented with beautiful illustrations, a lovely read, thank you Ella.”

“Brilliant written words, packed with soulfulness.”

“I like how these poems are a mix of traditional structures and modern ideas, and it felt like a nice breath of fresh air.”

To hear that other people have read and enjoyed the collection, was a bonus to the weight of the achievement resting on me, because the process of bringing this all together was incredibly challenging, albeit rewarding.

I started the process in January 2025, which was when I had poem titles scattered on my floor, sorting initial plans for which poems were going to be included, and which order they were going to go in. After a long period of completing a dissertation and graduating university, the real work began. This included: liaising with Leah about the illustrations, which underwent many changes and discussions; getting to grips with InDesign and formatting the visuals alongside the poems; forming a marketing and social media plan; planning a release event for friends and family…all whilst juggling a full-time job!

I never went into this project believing that I was going to make a lot of money from it. Poetry, by nature, has a niche audience. But all of the activities that have gone into making this a success have been incredibly fulfilling from a personal sense. I hosted a poetry competition with my old sixth form, Blackpool Sixth Form College, and I am going into my old high school in the upcoming months, to talk about the process behind this book and why it means so much to me. This isn’t something I take for granted. I am not expecting several high-school teenagers to start scribbling poetry at the back of their maths books. That’s not where I’m going in. Expression. Pouring yourself into something – whether that’s writing, painting, playing an instrument, playing a sport, baking a cake. To do something that makes you passionate. It’s so important to give your emotions a voice. The journey from adolescence to adulthood is full of decision-making, coming to terms with who you are as a person, and how you choose to cope in a rapidly shifting world. Poetry is my escape.

The illustrations have far-succeeded any initial creative vision I had for the book, which is a testament to Leah’s talent, dedication, and ability to know exactly what I wanted the poems to say, visually. In summer, Leah told me she wasn’t sure how she was going to be able to manage it all, but here we are. We did extend the deadline, but we adapted, and persevered, and we became a really strong team. That was probably one of my favourite parts of the process, not to mention the strong friendship that exists alongside it.

Without running the risk of sounding like a walking cliché, it’s true how much love comes through in my poetry. That’s love for people, places, animals, and even a love for writing itself. I don’t believe in bitterness of resentment. I believe that love, harnessed through peace, understanding and appreciation, is all that’s truly required. And it’s not easy. If it was, I wouldn’t have written poems about it, but what I have done is contained it within words that will last on these pages long beyond when I’ve gone. There’s something really powerful about that.

Not only has this project been instrumental to my development both as a writer and a marketeer, but it has also allowed me to showcase my emotions and experiences through a tangible output. Watch Us Begin is a reminder both that my writing journey is a continuous process, and these poems belong at the forefront of my early-life experiences. Here’s to many more.

The collection is now available to purchase on Amazon, in either paperback or e-book format. Going forward, it will also be available as an audiobook.

– Ella M. Peebles