They stood at the top of the mountain. The hot breeze blew against their sweaty faces. The green pine poked into the clear sky. At the summit they stood on smooth boulders. They had climbed it many times. They knew each crevice, crack and hold. Gerard dropped his pack, and sat on a boulder facing south. Lionel stood and breathed the air rising from the stretching Adirondacks below.
It had been a long hike up. The hard rain from the day before turned the trail to mud. They slipped more than once. Lionel enjoyed the challenge. Gerard complained the entire way.
Lionel hated standing there. He hated for the journey to end. He hated the rising smooth boulders of the last two miles before reaching the summit.…
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“I fucking loved you, you know?”
You hung up. You didn’t have to pick up you know. You could have just ignored the call. Maybe you deleted my number. Maybe it was the tense I used. But I called to—I think I called to apologize—not to tell you how I still loved you. I mean, I guess this entire situation proves I’m a little masochistic, but I’m not fucking suicidal.
Shit—no, don’t leave. I promise I have a point.
I was wrong. I hurt you. I can be man enough to admit that. I made promises I couldn’t keep; to you, to me, to our families. I was blinded by you and your smile and your ambition and how you would give your life for that stupid dog.…
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“Cara?”
“Oh!” she blurted, looking scared, then hesitant on the campus sidewalk. “Uh.”
It was our first meeting since I witnessed her at College Girls Gentleman’s Club. I’d left with downcast eyes. She’d dropped my class.
I wanted to say curiosity — I’d never been to a strip club — had dragged me there with my fellow teaching assistants. That I’d been embarrassed for myself, not her. That her withdrawal from freshman comp had saddened me since she was a great student, a smart people-pleaser destined for success. That I’d fretted about her. That I’d nurtured a crush even before seeing her Victoria’s Secret figure in only a thong and high-heels. That I’d been so jealous for her. That I’d returned to College Girls many times hoping to speak with her, only to find her absence more poignant than her presence.…
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I drove to the Skyway when I lost my job and I got pulled over for speeding on my way there. When the officer gave me the ticket and told me to drive more carefully, I nodded and called him sir with no sarcasm whatsoever. When he drove past me to continue south on I-275, I crumpled the ticket and tossed it into the back seat.
I pulled off at the pier. I got out and I opened the trunk and got out my rod, bucket and tackle box. I took off my tie and tossed it in the trunk before I slammed it shut. I felt the sun warming my face as I walked slowly toward the bait shop. I would shut my eyes when I walked and tilt my head up at the sky to feel how lovely the sun felt instead of fluorescent light.…
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I am contemplating suicide, or rather the different ways I could commit it, when I hear a knock at the door. I open it and a man stands in front of me. He is tall and a bit scrawny, his arms hang long, down almost to his knees. His blonde hair rests just above his shoulders and looks as if it hasn’t been washed in several days. His eyes are a deep brown, almost black, but they are big and inviting—not friendly, really, but maybe passionate.
He says he is here to save me. I tell him that I wasn’t actually going to do it. I was just thinking about it. But I am a bit confused as to how he could know what I had been thinking.…
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This morning I passed the aftermath of an automobile accident. It was in the quiet that follows the crash, after the squeal of breaks, the shaky moving of damaged vehicles to the side of the road. A car in the line behind tapped the horn and like molasses, we all slid past the scene. A petite woman stood next to the crushed fender of her new minivan. I could hear her sobbing into her cell phone, the rise and fall of it, not the words themselves. In a second car a young man sat slumped behind the wheel. His car was old and formerly luxurious, from a time when everyone had overflowing ashtrays. Before shoulder straps and airbags.
That’s the way the morning started, and, as always when something happens involving the young, my thoughts went to the mother, even to what she must have thought about that gas guzzling car. …
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Joe’s Shopping list January
- Size the ring
- Buy flowers
Joseph and Sydney’s Shopping List February
- Look at wedding bands
- Start a registry
- Price bridesmaid and groomsman outfits
- Book a reception building
- Find a caterer
Joseph and Sydney Shopping list March
- Gas up the car
- Pay final payment for caterer
- Pay the priest
…
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