In terms of an overall number from 1 to 10 on the happiness scale
I’d say that if I went back as far as I can remember up to the present
day, I’d give myself a 4 overall. I’d give myself a 4 because there
were times in my life in which I felt extremely depressed and even
suicidal. Then there were times in which I didn’t think very often
about suicide, yet wasn’t ecstatic about being alive either. The decent
times and the bad times came and went throughout my life, but I’d
have say that if you averaged in a mostly unhappy childhood, young
adulthood, including my twenties, but with considerable improvement
in my thirties, forties, and fifties, you’d have a guy who was a solid 4
overall.…
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No one travels to this part of town anymore,
not since the 5:06 has been rerouted
and the filling station removed its pumps.
The sole radio station plays mostly static
cut with echoes of a distant broadcast,
the excitement of a local sporting contest.
Here it is all phantasmal and bleak.
I clearly hear the double screech overhead
and see proud brown wings flap in aerial attack.
Yet the underbird here, the smaller crow
caws loudly, like a chatty old woman
shouting out feats of raffish grandchildren.
This cackle draws an immediate response.
Black dots appear as if called out of thin air,
flying from distant branches to gather in force.
The twenty birds that populate the branches
of the early spring’s bare maple tree
understand how there is comfort in numbers.…
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Winter
Curl into yourself, avoid going
outside because you hate the cold.
Spend your mornings in thrift stores
hunting for old paintings and model ships
to nest into your new apartment. Run away
to North Carolina to see the boy you’ve decided
you love. Run away to Pittsburgh,
then New York City over New Years
to see this same boy. Get an inch long splinter
in the back of your thigh sliding
across a wooden bench in Brooklyn.
In March realize it’s still there.
Stay restless. Stay sad. Grow suicide plans
inside of your suicide plants, like
ivy climbing around a trellis.
Spring
Get a job again, finally. Spend all of your
afternoons listening to the ramblings
of an autistic boy — retellings of cartoon
scripts.…
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It reminded me of the time I was at a high school dance and the pretty young woman I was secretly in love with was standing near the dance floor and I had every opportunity to walk up to her and ask her for a dance but told myself it wasn’t the right time and what would I say while flopping around to some music that was nothing but noise and finally why does the guy always have to be the one to make the first move when in the end she didn’t look that great anyway.
– Jeffrey Zable …
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Out of the blue
your gray matter
is tickled pink
with flying colors
you achieve peace
so you’re cool
as a cucumber
your thoughts
flat as a pancake
because you see
the whole enchilada
the world is slow
as molasses
like a brush stroke
over canvass
that completes a
portrait of bliss
resembling some
psychic reading or
astral projection
the third eye
channeling
the premiere of
epic stillness
written and directed
beyond time
starring what is
until you cast
the first stone
one by one
you put
two and two
together
feeling the rush
of division
pull your
whole number
into pieces.
– Dane Karnick…
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Did you feel it stop?
Just for a moment.
The earth held its ground and waited for me.
I was running late, just a few moments
and would have missed you
without the earth’s patience.
I ran faster in its pausing
and caught your eye
as the air held its breath.
Did my pounding feet
match your heart?
I was flushed from racing,
a bit out of breath.
I wonder if you thought that, you?
And so we met,
just for that moment.
Me, rosy and breathless,
you, dressed lovely in your suit and tie
standing in line waiting for
lunch
“Yes, I’d like that. We can share.”
Tuna and tea for two.
Is that how love happens?
The earth’s master plan shuddering in earthquakes,
whispering in raindrops and pausing in moments?…
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We like to think we’re built of major, minor, and trace elements, which use DNA as the recipe to mix and combine in patterns to make blood, bones, organs, skin,and such. Wrong. We are made of words. Words are in us from birth. As we grow, words take on meanings, so they can be combined and recombined indifferent patterns. Phrases and later sentences lock together, shaping how we move through our lives, more as architecture than language. Some of our words look inward and some outward, and we need a full complement of each. If some inward words are missing, we are incomplete. If some outward words are missing, there are gaps in our connections with others and these gaps are the distances between us.…
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